LIGHT 'EM UP
Short, witty, done.
$5.99
About 125–200 words
- AI-written customized roast
- One completed complaint (about 125-200 words)
- Your choice of tone
- Copy-and-paste format
- Delivered by email
- Downloadable PDF
BAD SERVICE? LET'S TALK ABOUT IT!
YOU BRING THE RECEIPTS. WE BRING THE SMOKE.
Bring your receipts. Our AI turns a documented bad experience into a funny, sharp, professional-grade complaint — ready to send in minutes. From $5.99.
We never invent facts. No receipts, no wild accusations — proof before smoke.
Receipts in. Smoke out.
1. Bring the receipts
Tell us what happened and upload receipts, screenshots or emails. No proof? We write carefully and honestly — never wild accusations.
2. Pay securely
Stripe checkout with Apple Pay, Google Pay and cards. We never see your card.
3. AI does the writing
It reads your documents, separates facts from feelings, writes in your chosen heat level, then fact-checks itself.
4. Send it your way
Your roast lands in your inbox, as a PDF and in your account. You decide who gets it. Nothing is sent without your OK.
Pick your heat
Flat prices. No subscriptions. No surprise fees.
TURN UP THE HEAT
More story. More facts. More pressure.
$9.99
About 300–450 words
- Everything in Light 'Em Up
- About 300-450 words
- More detailed storytelling
- Relevant supporting facts
- Stronger professional escalation language
- Clear requested resolution
- Email-ready and review-ready versions
FULL SMOKE
The whole fire. Plus a sequel.
$14.99
About 500–700 words
- Everything in the previous packages
- About 500-700 words, full detailed complaint
- Corporate escalation version
- ONE AI-written follow-up complaint
- Order tracking and follow-up reminders
- Multiple downloadable formats (PDF, TXT, DOCX-ready text)
| What you get | LIGHT 'EM UP $5.99 | TURN UP THE HEAT $9.99 | FULL SMOKE $14.99 |
|---|---|---|---|
| AI-written custom roast | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Choice of tone (4 intensities) | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Copy-and-paste format + email delivery | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Downloadable PDF | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Detailed storytelling | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Relevant supporting facts pulled from your receipts | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Stronger professional escalation language | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Clearly stated requested resolution | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Email-ready + review-ready versions | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Corporate escalation version | — | — | ✓ |
| ONE included AI follow-up complaint | — | — | ✓ |
| Order tracking + follow-up reminders | — | — | ✓ |
| Multiple download formats (PDF + TXT) | — | — | ✓ |
We write the complaint. We can’t promise a business will refund or compensate you — but a clear, documented, well-written complaint gets read.
How hot do you want it?
MILD HEAT
Funny but courteous.
MEDIUM SMOKE
Sassy, direct, and unapologetic.
EXTRA CRISPY
Sharp humor, strong language, serious attitude.
PROFESSIONAL FIRE
A polished corporate complaint with personality.
Every setting targets the business’s decisions and service failures — never anyone’s looks, identity or family. No threats. Ever.
Free taste of the smoke 🔥
See the voice before you buy.
More ways to bring the smoke
CORPORATE SMOKE
Skip the counter. Escalate to the corporate office with a clean evidence summary and a clear ask.
Learn more →BOSS SMOKE
Document a workplace problem professionally. HR-ready format, privacy-first. Not legal advice.
Learn more →CC THAT ASS!
Send your approved complaint to the right verified contacts — only with your say-so.
Learn more →Welcome to the Wall of Pisssstivity 🧱
Customer-approved, documented, reviewed complaints. Every post shows its status — and businesses can respond or request a factual correction.
The Wall is warming up. Be the first documented complaint on it.
They had their chance to get it right.
Now let’s put it in writing!
Start my roast →